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Sunday, February 27, 2005

lyric from "what I'm looking for" by brendan benson

Well I don't know what I'm looking for
But I know that I just wanna look some more
And I won't be satisfied
'Till there's nothing left that I haven't tried
For some people it's an easy choice
But for me there's a devil and an angel's voice
Well I don't know what I am looking for
But I know that I just wanna look some more

Well I don't know what I'm living for
But I know that I just wanna live some more
And you hear it from strangers
And you hear it from friends
That love never dies, love never ends
Now I don't wanna argue, no I don't wanna fight
'Cause you're always wrong and I'm always right
Well I don't know what I am living for
But I know that I just wanna live some more

I used to be involved, and I felt like a king
Now I've lost it all and I don't feel a thing
I may never grow old, I may never give in
And I'll blame this world that I live in
I visit hell on a daily basis
I see the sadness in all your faces
I've got friends who have married
And their lives seem complete
Here I am still stumbling down a darkened street

And I act like a child and I'm insecure
And I'm filled with doubt and I'm immature
Sometimes it creeps up on me and before I know it
I'm lost at sea
But no matter how far I row
I always find my way back home
But I don't know what I've been waiting for
But I know that I don't wanna wait anymore

Looking for...
What I'm looking for...
Looking for...
What I'm looking for...
Looking for...
What I'm looking for...
Looking for...
What I'm looking for...
Looking for...
What I'm looking for...

this song speaks alot about my current state of life...early 20s thinking about the future...dont really know what we want from life....and it's sick of thinking about what we want from life...we just want to live life as it is. When we have to think about what is it that we want from life...we're not really living it...so we might as well not think about it and just live it...it's gonna work out in the end. THis song made me think in a new way...and it's kinda a reassurance that it's might be okay not to know what you want from life...cause you never know what you want until you get it. It's gonna work out in the end...whatever it is.

Written at 9:20 PM by Mike.

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Saturday, February 26, 2005

lyric from "how i miss you" by the foo fighters

How i miss you
How i miss you
How i miss you
I should never call
How i hope that you still miss me

Did I lose you?
Did I lose you?
Did I lose you?
Somewhere down the line
Hide & seeks alright if i find

Do you miss me
Like i miss you
If you miss me,
Never go away
Hopefully, you'll come stay someday

If you're leaving,
come back soon
Thats not easy to say

I'll wait here,
dream of you
all alone as i ache

isn't this song great...it just explains how i'm feeling right now...and dave grohl just said it all...when you miss some one and the other person doesn't know how much you miss them...and this song just captures that emotion perfectly.

well...to capture what i did today...lunch with kelli and hung out at the house, we to grocery shopping...stopped by at bestbuy...came back and made dinner...watched forrest gump on tv and work on autocad which i caught up to day with the work...just need to print it.

i tihnk i need to work on some drawings for pauls class...do couple of sketches and stuffs like that....

oh...i get to talk on the phone with sam...and i told her that i misses her alot...i miss her just being there and she'll be back in time for my birthday...i need her here...well...i want her to be happy...and that's all i want from her

i'm downloading a lot of brendan benson's songs...i started listening to this guy in 2001 and haven't really kept in tune with his records...cause i listen to his first record released in 96...and he didn't release his next one til til 2003...and apparently...that 2003 record is great...so i kinda have to reaquient myself with benson...and his new cd is coming out pretty soon...

talking about cd....jack johnson is coming out with a new cd this tuesday...and i'm gonna get it as soon as it hits the shelf...and it's gonna be great...can't wait til i get to hear it...hip hip hooray...and i think sam gonna make me a pinada for my birthday...hehe....fun...any last words mike before signing off?? "how i miss you..."

Written at 11:44 PM by Mike.

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been up most of the nite...kinda working, kinda drinking, kinda hanging out in school and being unproductive as usual...I just feel like my life is lacking something...i think this world is depriving me of something i want. I want the truth...what is the truth??

last nite...there's a discussion about architecture...like most discussion...i hate what people have to say...not because of what they say...mostly because of why they say it...they want to bring something interesting to discuss...but they want to make these quotes their own...and they have nothing to back it up...if they did something that explains their theory or idea...i would respect it more...but they refuse to back it up...and that just pisses me off...how can you judge when you dont want to be judge...how strong is your work if you can't take criticism...how can you not be able to explain what's in your heart?? why do you think something is just right??? you can not say it's just right...you need valid reasons to say why things is right...living with emotion is fine...but thinking with emotion is not...it is never fine to think with emotion.

Few more things to get off my brain....

glad that jen likes the little music box i got her...and her story is cool and made the gift more meaningful

i'm missing sam already...just the fact that she's not around leaves a hole in my heart

now i know how my sister feels

project is progressing....but still need more working....i am able to do floor plans and section all in one night...so, no worries there....i should be able to get it done by midterm..easy

harsh is coming to visit

sam returns on tuesday evening....

it was great spending that day with sam...its really fun and relaxing and it's a change of pace...so please come tuesday....

oh...i also uploaded some pictures of sam and her time in new york...i'll upload mine if i feel like it

Written at 12:00 AM by Mike.

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Friday, February 25, 2005

sam and steve

Written at 11:58 PM by Mike.

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sam

Written at 11:57 PM by Mike.

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sam and michelle

Written at 11:56 PM by Mike.

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kristen sam and michelle

Written at 11:55 PM by Mike.

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kristin sam and michelle

Written at 11:55 PM by Mike.

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sam and michelle

Written at 11:53 PM by Mike.

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michelle and sam sharing a bud light

Written at 11:52 PM by Mike.

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Thursday, February 24, 2005

"collide" by howie day

The dawn is breaking
A light shining through
You're barely waking
And I'm tangled up in you

I'm open, your closed
Where I'll follow you'll go
I worry I won't see your face
Light up again

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find you and I collide

I'm quiet you know
You make a first impression
I've found I'm scared to know
I'm always on your mind

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the stars refuse to shine
Out of the back you fall in time
Somehow find you and I collide

Don't stop here
I lost my place
I'm close behind

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills your mind
You finally find you and I collide

friend of mine, harsh send me this song earlier this afternoon...it's a great song....it speaks a lot in itself...so i dont have to talk about it that much...

well, sammy is leaving tomorrow to surprise her mom this weekend and attend a wedding....i hope she have great fun there...i really do...but here...i'll be all bored cause she'll be gone...gonna miss her

Written at 8:55 PM by Mike.

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listening to 2pac...haha...it's like poetry of the street

anyways...really nothing going on except it's snowing outside. oh...i'm supposity going to lunch with kim...but i told her maybe....that pretty much always means no...In a way, i felt bad for not going...but i think it's for the best...its just very uncomfortable being around her now. What do you expect me to do?? I like her in the past...and she's going out with another guy...and i tried not to be so affectionate around her...but she's keep coming to me....i really want to be friends...but the fact that she never open up to me to tell me the truth...I still dont understand why she's going out with that guy...it's so wrong....and I'm just plain disappointed. If i go to lunch with her....does that mean i'm okay with everything that she does? no...no way...i can't agree with it....It's not that i dont like her....It's just that i dont agree with her actions...And what is she doing now?? why does she even want to hang out with me?? before she's going out with the guy...i gave her chances to hang out...i ask her out...but she decline...i ask her to do things...but she's too busy...but she's coming to me now and she's with him...i dont understand it a single bit...it bothersome....so i just dont care anymore....

Written at 8:36 AM by Mike.

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Tuesday, February 22, 2005

listening to Every Monday by Marvelous 3...lyric is posted below...it's a good song...

today...woke up at 8 and went to school at 9 to meet up with sammy and we're going out to DC to shoot some pictures for photography class...it wasn't really a ghetto area but i wouldn't want her to be out there a lot with a camera. It's great...we went to cakelove to have some breakfast dessert...and we took a lot of pictures and we just walked around hanging out and having good time together...then we went to camera store afterwards and we headed back to school to develope the film...and now i'm here...i so need to crash cause i'm so tired...i still got autocad and need to make some prints tonite...yup...it's gonna be a long day...so i'm going to get some sleep.

Written at 12:33 PM by Mike.

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Every Monday by Marvelous 3

I was checked in by 4
Put the sign on the door
Looked out the window of the 17th floor
Yelled to the city that know me by name
And all the bad things that I do
I shed 5 bitter tears
Into 5 bitter beers
Look at my watch and said
"Where have the years gone?
I'm wasting away like a castle of clay
that's slowly crumbling into"

Chorus:
Every Monday I get this pain
Every Wednesday it hits my brain
Every Friday I die
Cuz every day I still think of you

I was fucked up by five
Talking nothing but jive
Told the bartender he'd never take me alive
All of this because my favorite show
Was cancelled last night on TV
So I called up Marie
She'd have sex for free
But for ten bucks an hour she'd listen to me
Talk about rock stars and models on dope
And how I can't cope with this scene

Chorus

Written at 12:32 PM by Mike.

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Sunday, February 20, 2005

lazy day today...woke up at 2...and didnt do much.

i did have fun with kelli went i invited her over to cook dinner together...we made chicken parmesan...and we hung out.

besides that...it's just a slow day

Written at 9:30 PM by Mike.

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Friday, February 18, 2005

heading up to new york tonite to go see the gates by jeanne claude and cristo's work on central park. I also plan to head up to harlem and work my way down to central park and then see the whitney museum...if i have time, maybe go see the skyscraper museum and get food at lombardi's (oldest pizza place in US) or have some thing in chinatown...get some real chinese food for a change...haven't had it in a while...missed it.

i guess i should call up couple of friends and see what they are up to and if they wanna meet up for lunch or something...maybe...we'll see...but i plan to do my own thing...it's "me-time" so to say.

haven't been writing much this week...so let's sum up what's going on this week...

monday...got monday meeting and chatted with paul about my idea for design.
tuesday...just work hard all nite cause i got a pin up on wednesday...
wednesday...presented and hung with joe and some buddies...and then went to kim's birthday gathering...which i'll elaborate a little later...and after that...headed back to the dark room to develope my photo
thursday...nothing much...just doing some chores and got food for photography class...
friday...not much...but went to georges defense and had a party afterwards...and here i am writing on my blog

so about kim's birthday thing...she came by tuesday and invited me to go...and i felt reluctant to go cause i imagine it would be a weird situation for me...cause people told me about what happened over the weekend and it pretty much spelled it out for me...and i can see what kinda person she is...i dont really want to dislike her anymore than i want to...and if she keep on coming on to me...i would just feel more unconfortable around her...and on wednesday...after the crit...she came by me and ask me to come by and she would appreciate it...and i hate to be a person that rejects people...so i came and just have a cake and went back to school after that...and during the get together...it wasn't an A-list cast...it was just her roommates, kaizen, jerry, and foley and me...i was like...man...this is kinda dull...and the conversation was about fashion and little things like that...those are topics that i know and i care little about it. I dont know why she would invite me...and why dont she invite my roommates...or their neighbor...why am i singled out ?? is it out of pity?? cause i dont need pity...i think they need my pity for being there

Written at 9:11 PM by Mike.

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Thursday, February 17, 2005

waiting for my pants to dry in the dryer...isn't this one of the dullest moment in your life? at lease it's one of mine. I guess it's a good time to just think about the things that are lined up for me today. Well...i got to get some groceries...as well as food for photo class tonite...thinking bagel and cream cheese spread...and also need to bring something to drink...what go well with bagels??? let me google it...

Written at 10:29 AM by Mike.

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Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Cigarette Lighter Love Song by Marvelous 3

I know you're not asleep
I can feel you moving over there
You've been playing with the seam
In your worn out underwear
My lips are raw as hell
From biting on them just to stay awake
It's not like I'm gonna need them, you won't be around
To see them bleed and break

Chorus:
All that I do, comes back to you
So I'll just think about you
'til there's nothing in my head
All I can do, is try not to screw this up again
And just be friends, I'd rather be dead

I drove out of east Atlanta
With a headache the size of my car
I called to say I was okay anyway
'Cause I know how you are
I'm like a movie without an ending
You know I've got nowhere to go
And it makes me wanna throw up
To see you wanna give up
More than you'll ever know

(Chorus)
Bridge:
Everything's supposed to have a happy ending
But the record keeps skipping and the needle keeps bending
Like the road I'm driving to the bridge that has no end
I wanna take back everything that I've broken
But the bridges behind me are burning and smokin'
I guess this is the end
(Chorus)

Written at 6:23 PM by Mike.

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Saturday, February 12, 2005

"No Distance Left to Run" by Blur

It's over
You don't need to tell me
I hope you're with someone who makes you
feel safe in your sleeping tonight
I won't kill myself, trying to stay in your life
I got no distance left to run

When you see me
Please turn your back and walk away
I don't want to see you
Cause i know the dreams that you keep is where we meet
When your coming down, think of me
I got no distance left to run

It's over, I knew it would end this way
I hope you're with someone who makes you feel
That this life is alive (a lie)
And it settles down, stays with you
Spends more time with you
I got no distance left to run

coming home

so cold...no more...

I feel so much like this song...it's hard giving something up...but i guess i came to my senses finally and realized how horrible people is...and how naive I am sometimes...I dont see a sign that says "road ends" and assume everything is fine...assumption is shit my friend...shit...

i try to believe that people are good in nature...and i believe what they said is the truth...and i believe her....i believed what she said...it just made me second guess everything she have said to me...i just can't talk to her anymore...but that's fine....now i see what kind of person she is...i dont really need to maul over about her anymore...i shouldn't...

tomorrow is a brand new day...head to school to do some work...go to dc with sammy...and it's going to be great fun...

Written at 10:46 PM by Mike.

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Friday, February 11, 2005

haven't wrote for a week...haha...lots of stuffs...or lack there of have happened...let me explain...

after the super bowl...i've been ignoring kim...and she's doing the same thing too...and in a way, it's good...i dont have to worry about all that shit that's going on...it's comforting.

also had a pin up on wednesday and it went great...they like my ideas but i need to tranform that to a plan and section and make it make sense...and i think i can do it...i just need to measure the site and make the sewing drawing...that in turn will tell me what to do...but i also need to make a diagram of the tools that'll be displayed...so i know how much room it'll take as well as how i'm going to organize and catagorize them.

Written at 8:43 AM by Mike.

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Sunday, February 06, 2005

super bowl....patriots 24 eagles 20....

had a superbowl party....like a lot of our parties....it's a last minute thing and it just grew...but it's great...a lot of people came...good friends, good times., good food and tv...it's more than i can ask and wanted. BUt seriously...it's back to school tomorrow and get back in the flow of things...got to hit the dark room and do some photography...and than get some supplies for design...and that should be a week of work...and i probably should weld some stuffs as well...

things been going well i guess...i can't really complain much...

what else can i say...i posted some valentines cards ideas up...i think i'm gonna use the cho cho choose you and the homer card...it's gonna be great...great laugh that is...i still wanted to get the valentines card box when we had when we were a kid...

well...that's about it...i'll tell you more later

Written at 9:18 PM by Mike.

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Thursday, February 03, 2005